Water bottles and coffee mugs have become a truly amazing case study in American consumerism. From the YETI to the S’well to the HydroFlask, so many water bottle brands have come and gone, each getting their own time in the spotlight. The recent emergence of the Stanley cup has continued this trend into 2024. If the previous trends weren’t scary enough, I think it’s now time to sound the alarm.

If you walk around any high school or college campus, you’ll be sure to see at least a couple dozen Stanley cups over the course of a couple hours. They’ve consumed Gen-Z, becoming the single most coveted item in any Gen-Z-er’s Amazon cart. The culture shock surrounding the Stanley is concerning considering the myriad of flaws in the cup’s design. 

While products like the Yeti and Hydro Flask were extremely well-designed, the Stanley is the complete opposite. The cup is marketed with the intention of being an on-the-go, easy-to-transport kind of product, hence the rock-solid stainless steel construction. If you see the Stanley on a shelf at the store, it’ll probably catch your eye with its aesthetic matte pastel design. However, the more you look at it, the more it appears to be infinitely flawed.

What stands out to me the most is the hideous handle on the Stanley. Yeah, it makes it easy to hold when taking a sip, but it can become terribly inconvenient. Imagine the daily routine of a Naperville Central student, who drives to school, then carries a backpack around all day. A Stanley cup is the single worst thing to fit into this daily routine. The handle prohibits the cup from fitting in the cupholder of any car, making for a horribly inconvenient experience driving to and from school. Then, once you’re out of your car, walking around the school, the Stanley can’t fit in a backpack’s water bottle pocket. You’re forced to have one hand occupied at all times with a massive, awkward water bottle. How can anyone like this thing?

The Stanley’s lack of versatility is another thing that bothers me to no end. I own a Yeti water bottle as well as a Tumbler. These products are perfect for holding ice-cold water in the heat of the summer, but they can also keep my tea piping hot on a cold January morning. These year-round products are good for any kind of drink. This is another key area in which the Stanley falls short. The Stanley Quencher (their most popular cup) isn’t advertised for use with hot drinks. They only advertise how the cup keeps drinks cold. Why pay $45 for a cup that can’t even hold your coffee when a Yeti for the same price can do it all? I can’t comprehend why someone would choose to use a Stanley when options like the Yeti can keep your drinks ice cold and scorching hot. 

The most disturbing trend with the Stanley that I’ve encountered comes from the dangerous lands of TikTok, where I see people filling their Stanleys with all kinds of sugars and syrups, almost as if they’re making a Starbucks drink. Since when did we need to make our water taste good? The fact that the Stanley has become a vessel that enables people to think horribly sweetened and flavored water is healthy concerns me. Why can’t we just drink regular water? 

The Stanley cup has brought out the herd mentality in American consumers. This mentality fuels American capitalism while rotting the brains of the everyday American. It’s time for people to wake up. Realize that the Stanley is nothing more than a flawed design that just looks pretty.