When I wake up in the morning and I’m cold, I feel a sense of utter despair. I know I must venture out of my toasty covers into the endless dark abyss that us midwesterners call winter.
It’s a special type of torture, having to scrape the ice off a car’s windshield. One has to stand in the freezing cold chipping away at four different windows. The experience is unbearable, but of course, winter safety must come before winter hibernation.
Have you ever turned on a seat warmer,waited for it to work, and when it finally does you must walk to school once again? You have just one minute of pure joy, but then you must venture into the snowstorm once more. Any miniscule attempts to temporarily save us from the cold are overall ineffective and just further infuriating.
My face and nose feel like I have been dipped into the Arctic Ocean to endure pure agony in the form of a long waddle to school. I would honestly rather be ruthlessly tortured than spend 10 minutes outside bearing the weather’s icy chokehold.
This may seem like a rather pessimistic viewpoint, but with the lack of Vitamin D from the sun and constant bruises from slipping on ice, there is absolutely no reason to enjoy this horrific dark void we call winter. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, less sunlight and shorter days set up a negative chemical reaction in our brains, which can worsen depressive symptoms.
Even in literature, winter represents evil and death. In “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis, the main antagonist’s symbol is winter, and she curses the land of Narnia to live forever in the cold, with spring only returning after her death. Similarly, in “Wuthering Heights” by Emily Brontë, winter mirrors the suffering of the characters, such as Catherine’s death and Heathcliff’s isolation following her death.
Regardless if the cold bothers you, hypothermia and frostbite can still prevail through winter precautions and the many layers we adorn to brave the frigid streets of suburbia. Slippery and unplowed roads make the perfect concoction for new drivers to skid and crash. According to the Federal Highway Administration, “Each year, 24%of weather-related vehicle crashes occur on snowy, slushy or icy pavement and 15% happen during snowfall or sleet.” Winter causes death not only to the lively emerald leaves that decorate the trees of summer, but also to innocent civilians.
Why do people enjoy this season of frigid despair? There is absolutely nothing for us poor victims to do but to complain, which only makes me feel mildly better.
My best advice is to simply stay inside. Get good grades, join clubs and maybe find a way to go to school in a location where the weather doesn’t attempt to brutally attack you in the form of snowflakes and ice. And just remember, despite winter’s attempts to freeze you into a living iceberg, it can’t reach you with beloved seat warmers and hot cocoa on your side.